There's a saying "You haven't lived your life yet until you're 18", I don't know who said that or maybe I just made up, but it's true that you're exposed to real life when you're 18. It's like you're just born to life even though you're born 18 years ago as a human. You've just started living your real life at 18 and you don't know anything about life or how this world functions or contribute to your life. I'm 22 years old as a human but I'm just 4 years old in my life. I have many things to learn about life and about this world. The past 4 years have taught me many lessons that I didn't even think I would learn in my 18 years of human life. I had never experienced failure in my highschool life.. Maybe there were some ups and downs in my academic score but there wasn't a thing that would made me regret. I felt like I was the best back then. And since I was so used to be winner all the time, when you started facing the real life at your 18, you can't bear the downfall. I was knocked down many times, I felt like I was inside water and my legs were tied. I was drowned, beaten, ashamed, cried and even bleed countering the real life. No one taught me what it was going to be, everyone were celebrating my adulthood instead of guiding me, instead of assuring me that I wouldn't fall. Maybe it was meant to be as it was, maybe it's something I deserve not to be taught and learn my own on the journey. Ever since I've been facing myself as a failure, failed relationships, failed in academics, failed in competition, failed in being a good son, failed in keeping upto people's expectation. Even today I'm penning down this as a failure after recently I got my result for GAT B. The only thing that keeps me going is not remembering all those failures in my life, the only thing I've learned until now in my life is to avoid what other people says and keep doing what I'm responsible for. The only thing that matters is accomplishing my goal for the day and not planning for what's coming in my future. Some people will judge me for saying this but what I meant is, we should actually plan for future but we shouldn't worry about it too much, we should do what we're supposed to do today and we'll deal with what's coming tomorrow the next day. These are the only things that keeps me going. There are many things to learn, mature person is not someone who has a bigger age, it is someone who have more experience in life. The day I realized this, I feel like I should make more mistakes and become more failure by experiencing everything in life. The day I become finally mature enough, there will be stories to tell. Until then, live in the moment and don't regret.
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