I Wish I Have..

 Being in early 20s is the hardest I've ever experienced life. I'm still struggling because I'm still 24, trust me I've never been this assaulted, brutal, broken, cried, and angered for existing. The challenges I face everyday is beyond my capability to withstand. When you're mentally out of control, you're hurting yourself physically, you're financially crippled and your relationship just crashed out of the blue, it's already impossible for you to balance your life. Things are way out of my hands, everything revolves on it's own, I'm just driven by this natural force which I have no control over them. I wish I have someone to stop me, console me, guide me to do better because even though I have the potential to do the right thing, I need a support to walk on muds as I worry I would fall.

• I wish I have someone who sees me right through my heart
•  I wish I have someone who reads my mind
• I wish I have someone who feel what I feel 
• I wish I have someone who understand me deeply 
• I wish I have someone who would hug me and says it will be alright
• I wish I have someone who would figure out what going on in me without having to ask me personally
• I wish I have someone who would hold my hand and walk me to the other end 
• I wish I have someone who would kiss me to goodnight sleep 
• I wish I have someone who would sing me lullaby until I doze off 
• I wish I have someone who would appear in my dream and the next day when I wake up, I would feel fresh 
• I wish I have a shoulder to lean on and cry
• I wish I have a waist to throw my arms around and laugh
• I wish I have someone who could start my day
• I wish I have someone who could end my day
• I wish I have someone whom I can spend my entire day and never get tired 
• I wish I have someone whom I can talk about crazy stuff the whole night and never doze off
• I wish I have someone who would support me morally 
• I wish I have someone who would support me academically 
• I wish I have someone who would support me to do things better 
•  I wish I have someone who would push me to become a better self

 People will judge me for being sissy and always look for validation from others. People might advice me to be strong and man up to fight on my own. People might even not give a fuck about what I crave for.. But I'm a human too, an emotional being who needs companionship not always in a common way.. I wish I have that special person.

I really wish I have someone special

I wish I have....